She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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