My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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