So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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