It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
