You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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