Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
did you just send me my own nude
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
