You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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