i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
