i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize