I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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