dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
