Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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