I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
worst night to have a conscience
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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