Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
