Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
