the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
