hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
