things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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