i jhust puked up my retainher.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
