i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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