Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
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