I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
