Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
