I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
