this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
