he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
