on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My breasts were aching with rage.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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