just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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