she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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