im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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