there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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