She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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