wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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