I wanna passion pit in your ass
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
