I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
