I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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