I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize