Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
