Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
