I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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