You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
