Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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