Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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