I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize