She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize