i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
