he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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