Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
