I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
