glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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