maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
