i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
