Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
