Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
