he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
