Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
