I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize