When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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