New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
