did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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