Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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