Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
