Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
