OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
