I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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