I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
